Mother's Day

Back in the height of my IVF years, when I seemed to be better
at losing babies than having them, I dreaded Mother's Day.
Here was this day that seemed especially designed to ridicule me,
taunt me.
Remind me of all that I wasn't and all that I couldn't have.

In South Africa we celebrate Woman's Day on 9 August and Duncan
would always do something extra special for me on that day and told me this was my day until such time I became a Mother, he never doubted I would.

And then the bliss of finally becoming a Mommy, of celebrating this fact.
To rejoice on this day that I had waited for so long,a day to enjoy,
a day to know that I was there to nurture, to love, to teach, to protect, to care for this perfect little boy.
A day to remember all my lost babies and to cherish the one I have.

And now I am back in that place again, dreading Mother's Day.
Another day to see other families together, other daddies sharing
in their children's love for their mother.
Another day to remember all that we have lost.
And so I am going to ignore it and treat it as just another day.