What to Say to a Grieving Friend

Having been through many years of infertility and many IVF's to have Stuart I thought I had grown a relatively thick skin to people's insensitive comments. Here a childhood friend of mine, and fellow infertile, logged some typical ones on her blog: http://tertia.typepad.com/so_close/2005/01/what_not_to_say.html

It seems that people do not know how to act or react when you have suffered the loss of someone close. Many are grieving for that person themselves, some just don't know what to say.

"What a terrible time of year (Christmas) for this to happen"
Any time of year would be terrible. There is always a special day and it is going to be difficult to bare. Valentines Day, His, My or Stuart's Birthday, Our Anniversary and so on.

"Well have an awesome Christmas"
Yes, I was actually wished this in a variety of ways straight after discussing Duncan's tragic death. What did they think? Now that I am single I would be hitting the clubs?

"I understand how you feel, my husband just left me"
No you don't! Your husband will still be there to hold a little hand on your child's first day at school, to proudly see him graduate and dance at his wedding. I do not despise my husband; he did not choose to go.


Here is a site that has a few more:
http://www.inmyheels.com/what-to-say-to-a-grieving-friend